Thursday, February 15, 2007

Women in Restrooms

Ok. I didn't think I had anything to say today until I went to the bathroom in my office building. I pose this question -

Why are women so fucking disgusting in restrooms?

So at my last job, it was a common joke that our bathroom ALWAYS smelled like shit, yes, actual shit. No one was afraid to take a dump at any time of the day. I guess that means we were all close and comfortable with eachother and stuff, but it seriously would be so gross some days, I'd walk in and walk right back out, literally gagging from the smell. There were a couple of women in particular that you KNEW had been in there, they were rotten inside. It was only a company of about 70 people, so after a while, it was easy to figure out who the "offenders" were.

At my new job, we are in a building with a few other offices as well, and it's a community bathroom with 5 stalls. It's a very nice bathroom, doesn't smell like shit ever, which is a plus, but I've tried every stall and there is an obvious pressure problem in there. Even if you just pee, you usually have to flush twice, so everything goes down and you leave a nice, clean bowl. Am I the only one who actually makes sure that there isn't anything gross in the bowl when I'm done??? Please tell me if I am. If I am, this is my plea to all the women out there to start doing so. I just got to see someone's nasty tampon in the toilet, it was so gross I actually puked in my mouth a litte, no kidding!

But the point is that this happens in almost every women's restroom I use. It's no secret, I've said in a previous post that I can pooh anywhere, if I gotta go, I gotta go. I'm not one of those people who can only go in their own house. When nature calls, it calls and there's no holding it back. So I've been in a lot of restrooms in lots of random places before. It is usually pooh, left over pooh bits, or skid marks on the bottom of the toilet. I will flush that bitch until there is no evidence of my pooh if necessary, to me, its the right and courteous thing to do. The tampon incident of a few moments ago was actually a new one. Actually worse than pooh in my opinion.

And pissing all over the seat. That's a real treat to walk into. There are places I will sit, and places that I know it's best to squat, but if I get pee on the seat, I will totally wipe it off, it's gross, no one wants to see or smell your piss, trust that! Why do I seem to be the only one in America that does this? It's your piss, get a big wad of toilet paper and wipe it off, SERIOUSLY! I do not want to wipe your piss off, that's gross. When there is a bathroom pull of pissed on seats, I get all freaked out and think that I'm going to get their spray on my clothes somehow and contract some fucked up toilet seat disease.

*Note: I have never been out of the country (other than Mexico & Canada, but they are attached, so to me it doesn't count), so I can't speak for any other place, but I'm going to assume this is a world-wide epidemic!

I really don't care if you do these things in your own home, by all means do what you want, it's your house, but why can't women be considerate when in public?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very funny stuff, S!

Are women ever 'grunters,' or 'strainers?' Oh man, I'm so outta there as soon as I detect even a hint of grunter/strainer-like vocalizations...I take note of their shoes, and then cut my losses whenever I spot 'em! ;)

Shawna said...

Yeah, some can be, it's usually farts though. Some women don't care. I on the other hand, prefer to pooh alone.

House of Suz said...

I love the fact that seat covers are provided in every public restroom in Oregon. Or at least it seems so.

There is only one other female in my office and you damn well know that bathroom is always spotless. Otherwise it's just TOO obvious who is the dirty fuck.

Anonymous said...

Don't ask me how I found this.

http://www.ratemypoo.com/

NSFW - Unless your workplace tolerates pictures of poop on/in your monitor/internet cache.