Frank Stank

This is a mid-weekend update.

It's 6pm on Saturday evening, and I'm gearing up for a long night of drinking with Sarah.

Thursday - Day 1
Went over to Sarah's folks house for some homemade chicken and dumplings. Had dinner with the family, and headed out for a night of drinking around 9pm. Got to the Landing, it was pretty dead, Sarah and I settled in at the end of the bar and did a shot right away, just to "get the party started" so to speak. That turned into about 8 by the end of the night I believe. Dave told me the next day that by the time he showed up at 12:30am, we proclaimed to have done 4 so far. Good lord! He knows he did 3 with us, so 7 confirmed shots, added one to grow on. Many various people showed up, some she knew, some that became new best friends by the end of the night. Some choads came in wearing tuxes, typical North Dallas dudes that had been to some fancy schmancy function at the Anatole (fancy hotel) and I guess wanted to "slum it" for the rest of the evening. Who knows. All I do know is that after Mark, the chattiest of them all walked away, I proclaimed to everyone "why do I feel the urge to punch that guy in the face?" one of THOSE guys. They hung back in the pool room, no drama for an hour or so. The bartenders were annoyed with them, these are the guys that always stand in the service well, obviously in the way of the bartenders getting to tables to do their jobs, but choad guys oblivious to anyone else but themselves. At one point Mark came up, pool stick in hand and almost decapitated me with it. On accident yeah, but gave the bartenders a reason to yell at them. Let the drama begin. Big scene, I became "the girl that was their new best friend" but I, of course was on the side of the Landing. It was fun, they ended up leaving, we all got a good chuckle out of it. At this point it's probably about 1am or so, definitely no need to drink anymore, but it became the LAST HOUR to drink for the night, so I think the shots happened about every 2.3 seconds after that. It's all a blur really, I'm assuming this. Last call comes, Sarah tells me she is going to take a cab, that I don't need to drive her all the way back to her parents house. I say "oh, I'm fine, no problem" and the rest of the bar (ok, exaggeration, but close) says "oh no, you aren't driving either Shawna" I believe I giggled and probably hiccuped and said, ok, whatever you say. Luckily I was drunk enough to even realize I had no business operating heavy machinery. Dave took my drunk ass home. Thanks Dave. Sarah and Bill were standing by the door, waiting on the cab, I walked over to Sarah to see if she was alright, and she said "lkaheiou liuo wlhe psttttttttt", so yeah, she was toast. There was no deciphering her statement, she was past the point of being able to formulate words, my work for the evening was done.

Friday - Day 2
Spent the better half of the day in the toilet, it wasn't pretty folks, we reached bile stage, it was pretty bad. Sarah calls about 2:30, I stumble out of bed, yep, still in bed, and she tells me how she feels just fine. I tell her I hate her. I get my car, and hit Jack in the Box for some greasy tacos, it helped, but not much. I then stay on the couch until almost 9pm and force myself into the shower, for another night at the Landing. We make it up there about 10:30, Sarah's tired, I'm tired and still hung over. We meet Jason. I've met Jason before, he just doesn't remember. He's a nice guy and we proceed to chit chat with him and his girlfriend. Somehow Jason brings up people with funny names, and tells us about some guy named Frank Stank. I don't buy it, but we decide we love it. I have to go to the bathroom, walk in and someone had to drop Frank Stank off at the pool. Yes, a new euphemism for pooh was created by me, just then. So it's not "fuckpants" but it sure is fun to say. I get through a martini and one shot. Sarah makes it through 2 shots and a beer and a half before we decide it just ain't happening. The bars crowded, Jason's funny, but we just aren't up for him and decide to make it an early night. Pathetic, we know, but we tried. I was home by 1am.

Saturday - Day 3 - Part 1
So we are now to real time. I'm about to hop into the shower, and get ready. This is the night baby, the drinkfest that you all dream for. Hopefully I can remember it all and give you some funny things that happened, but I'm not counting on it. You can never be sure just how drunk you'll get at the Landing, but it's inevitable. Sarah and I are both disappointed with our performances from yesterday, so I have a feeling tonight might be monumental. Bills already established the after the bar closes drinkfest at his place, so it's gonna be a long one. We are supposed to go to Gloria's tomorrow for brunch/tequila, we'll see how that all shakes out.

Stay tuned...