Good fucking God. That explains it best. Saturday night was definitely the drunkest of the drunk nights.
After vomiting most of the day Friday, then retiring to the couch, and only being out for a few hours on Friday, Shawna was ready to party it up again Saturday night, I definitely put the party hat on and went balls to the wall. So did Sarah and Amanda...
Got to the Landing about 9ish. That's all I remember. Haha, just kidding.
Sat at Ripley's Corner (knew right then it was gonna be a good night). For those of you not yet familiar with Ripley's Corner, it is the back section of the bar, great view of the entire bar, my favorite place to sit. Someone deemed it Ripley's Corner years ago, because it's inevitable that when you sit there, some fucked up shit is going to occur. Maybe by you, maybe by your friends, but usually it's some drunken random person that plays a role in the evening's events. Well, Saturday it was just because of me and my drunk ass friends.
Of course a shot was done almost immediately, it always seems to set the tone. The tone of overindulgence on alcohol! I know we beat the shot record from Thursday night, because at 2:30am when we were getting kicked out, we thought it a good idea to go over to Bill's house to drink more. BRILLIANT!
Drunk, stupid, silly things were said. Sarah and Amanda became best friends by the end of the night, they were both really huggy. Not in a gay way boys, so don't get all excited. No lesbo love happenin' there.
Someone deemed us the Super Cunt Whores (that is in FIERCE competition with Fuckpants, don't you think?), who that was, none of us recall, so if any of you that read this were there and remember that, please clue us in. We are not mad at whoever started it, we think it's rather funny really. The only way we remembered is because Sarah made Dave text message her. We know it wasn't Dave though, he might think that, but not actually say it outloud. Or did he? Who the fuck knows.
We were Super Cunt Whores and we did unite. It's our new Super Hero Club, takes a good drunken night at the Landing to be able to join, that's initiation. My superpower would be "The Cockblocker" I am a master of all cockblocking abilities. No man is too strong for me, I will bust him down and his little cock too! Not sure about Sarah and Amanda, I'll let them give their own Super Hero Powers. Since we are the founding members, we get to choose our own, anyone new to our club, we get to pick, it's a committee based decision. Ok, so the whole superhero thing I just made up. There is no club, but I got going on a rant that I thought might amuse you, so I went with it. How'd I do? Bet you want to join...
So yeah, anyway, Bill's house I remember sitting at his kitchen table and scarfing some homemade onion dip. There was laughing, and a lot of "what the hell is happening right now, and god I'm fucked up" conversations with a few smoke breaks. Amanda hitched a ride from Cullen around 3:30, Sarah, Dave and I lasted until about 4am, like we needed to be awake at 4am...
Felt like shit again yesterday, hence the lack of the blog. Tavis, for your info, I did not say I was going to give you the rest of the weekend on Sunday. You should have known from reading the "Frank Stank" entry, that it was doubtful I was going to be up for being vertical at any point on Sunday! You are getting it now damnit! No Gloria's, it just didn't happen. Everyone that said they were joining us backed out at the last minute (big shocker) and Sarah was in deep shit with the parentals for being out until 4:30am anyway. So funny, she is 35 years old, and her parents STILL treat her like she's 15. Hell, all our parents still do that kind of shit with us, isn't that weird?
So that's all. Just got done paying bills I've avoided for a week, so I'm broke again. Get Blanca on Friday, so I won't be going out this weekend anyway. Already got her vet appointment on Saturday morning for her puppy shots. Can't wait! She's gonna drive me crazy, I just know it!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Frank Stank
This is a mid-weekend update.
It's 6pm on Saturday evening, and I'm gearing up for a long night of drinking with Sarah.
Thursday - Day 1
Went over to Sarah's folks house for some homemade chicken and dumplings. Had dinner with the family, and headed out for a night of drinking around 9pm. Got to the Landing, it was pretty dead, Sarah and I settled in at the end of the bar and did a shot right away, just to "get the party started" so to speak. That turned into about 8 by the end of the night I believe. Dave told me the next day that by the time he showed up at 12:30am, we proclaimed to have done 4 so far. Good lord! He knows he did 3 with us, so 7 confirmed shots, added one to grow on. Many various people showed up, some she knew, some that became new best friends by the end of the night. Some choads came in wearing tuxes, typical North Dallas dudes that had been to some fancy schmancy function at the Anatole (fancy hotel) and I guess wanted to "slum it" for the rest of the evening. Who knows. All I do know is that after Mark, the chattiest of them all walked away, I proclaimed to everyone "why do I feel the urge to punch that guy in the face?" one of THOSE guys. They hung back in the pool room, no drama for an hour or so. The bartenders were annoyed with them, these are the guys that always stand in the service well, obviously in the way of the bartenders getting to tables to do their jobs, but choad guys oblivious to anyone else but themselves. At one point Mark came up, pool stick in hand and almost decapitated me with it. On accident yeah, but gave the bartenders a reason to yell at them. Let the drama begin. Big scene, I became "the girl that was their new best friend" but I, of course was on the side of the Landing. It was fun, they ended up leaving, we all got a good chuckle out of it. At this point it's probably about 1am or so, definitely no need to drink anymore, but it became the LAST HOUR to drink for the night, so I think the shots happened about every 2.3 seconds after that. It's all a blur really, I'm assuming this. Last call comes, Sarah tells me she is going to take a cab, that I don't need to drive her all the way back to her parents house. I say "oh, I'm fine, no problem" and the rest of the bar (ok, exaggeration, but close) says "oh no, you aren't driving either Shawna" I believe I giggled and probably hiccuped and said, ok, whatever you say. Luckily I was drunk enough to even realize I had no business operating heavy machinery. Dave took my drunk ass home. Thanks Dave. Sarah and Bill were standing by the door, waiting on the cab, I walked over to Sarah to see if she was alright, and she said "lkaheiou liuo wlhe psttttttttt", so yeah, she was toast. There was no deciphering her statement, she was past the point of being able to formulate words, my work for the evening was done.
Friday - Day 2
Spent the better half of the day in the toilet, it wasn't pretty folks, we reached bile stage, it was pretty bad. Sarah calls about 2:30, I stumble out of bed, yep, still in bed, and she tells me how she feels just fine. I tell her I hate her. I get my car, and hit Jack in the Box for some greasy tacos, it helped, but not much. I then stay on the couch until almost 9pm and force myself into the shower, for another night at the Landing. We make it up there about 10:30, Sarah's tired, I'm tired and still hung over. We meet Jason. I've met Jason before, he just doesn't remember. He's a nice guy and we proceed to chit chat with him and his girlfriend. Somehow Jason brings up people with funny names, and tells us about some guy named Frank Stank. I don't buy it, but we decide we love it. I have to go to the bathroom, walk in and someone had to drop Frank Stank off at the pool. Yes, a new euphemism for pooh was created by me, just then. So it's not "fuckpants" but it sure is fun to say. I get through a martini and one shot. Sarah makes it through 2 shots and a beer and a half before we decide it just ain't happening. The bars crowded, Jason's funny, but we just aren't up for him and decide to make it an early night. Pathetic, we know, but we tried. I was home by 1am.
Saturday - Day 3 - Part 1
So we are now to real time. I'm about to hop into the shower, and get ready. This is the night baby, the drinkfest that you all dream for. Hopefully I can remember it all and give you some funny things that happened, but I'm not counting on it. You can never be sure just how drunk you'll get at the Landing, but it's inevitable. Sarah and I are both disappointed with our performances from yesterday, so I have a feeling tonight might be monumental. Bills already established the after the bar closes drinkfest at his place, so it's gonna be a long one. We are supposed to go to Gloria's tomorrow for brunch/tequila, we'll see how that all shakes out.
Stay tuned...
It's 6pm on Saturday evening, and I'm gearing up for a long night of drinking with Sarah.
Thursday - Day 1
Went over to Sarah's folks house for some homemade chicken and dumplings. Had dinner with the family, and headed out for a night of drinking around 9pm. Got to the Landing, it was pretty dead, Sarah and I settled in at the end of the bar and did a shot right away, just to "get the party started" so to speak. That turned into about 8 by the end of the night I believe. Dave told me the next day that by the time he showed up at 12:30am, we proclaimed to have done 4 so far. Good lord! He knows he did 3 with us, so 7 confirmed shots, added one to grow on. Many various people showed up, some she knew, some that became new best friends by the end of the night. Some choads came in wearing tuxes, typical North Dallas dudes that had been to some fancy schmancy function at the Anatole (fancy hotel) and I guess wanted to "slum it" for the rest of the evening. Who knows. All I do know is that after Mark, the chattiest of them all walked away, I proclaimed to everyone "why do I feel the urge to punch that guy in the face?" one of THOSE guys. They hung back in the pool room, no drama for an hour or so. The bartenders were annoyed with them, these are the guys that always stand in the service well, obviously in the way of the bartenders getting to tables to do their jobs, but choad guys oblivious to anyone else but themselves. At one point Mark came up, pool stick in hand and almost decapitated me with it. On accident yeah, but gave the bartenders a reason to yell at them. Let the drama begin. Big scene, I became "the girl that was their new best friend" but I, of course was on the side of the Landing. It was fun, they ended up leaving, we all got a good chuckle out of it. At this point it's probably about 1am or so, definitely no need to drink anymore, but it became the LAST HOUR to drink for the night, so I think the shots happened about every 2.3 seconds after that. It's all a blur really, I'm assuming this. Last call comes, Sarah tells me she is going to take a cab, that I don't need to drive her all the way back to her parents house. I say "oh, I'm fine, no problem" and the rest of the bar (ok, exaggeration, but close) says "oh no, you aren't driving either Shawna" I believe I giggled and probably hiccuped and said, ok, whatever you say. Luckily I was drunk enough to even realize I had no business operating heavy machinery. Dave took my drunk ass home. Thanks Dave. Sarah and Bill were standing by the door, waiting on the cab, I walked over to Sarah to see if she was alright, and she said "lkaheiou liuo wlhe psttttttttt", so yeah, she was toast. There was no deciphering her statement, she was past the point of being able to formulate words, my work for the evening was done.
Friday - Day 2
Spent the better half of the day in the toilet, it wasn't pretty folks, we reached bile stage, it was pretty bad. Sarah calls about 2:30, I stumble out of bed, yep, still in bed, and she tells me how she feels just fine. I tell her I hate her. I get my car, and hit Jack in the Box for some greasy tacos, it helped, but not much. I then stay on the couch until almost 9pm and force myself into the shower, for another night at the Landing. We make it up there about 10:30, Sarah's tired, I'm tired and still hung over. We meet Jason. I've met Jason before, he just doesn't remember. He's a nice guy and we proceed to chit chat with him and his girlfriend. Somehow Jason brings up people with funny names, and tells us about some guy named Frank Stank. I don't buy it, but we decide we love it. I have to go to the bathroom, walk in and someone had to drop Frank Stank off at the pool. Yes, a new euphemism for pooh was created by me, just then. So it's not "fuckpants" but it sure is fun to say. I get through a martini and one shot. Sarah makes it through 2 shots and a beer and a half before we decide it just ain't happening. The bars crowded, Jason's funny, but we just aren't up for him and decide to make it an early night. Pathetic, we know, but we tried. I was home by 1am.
Saturday - Day 3 - Part 1
So we are now to real time. I'm about to hop into the shower, and get ready. This is the night baby, the drinkfest that you all dream for. Hopefully I can remember it all and give you some funny things that happened, but I'm not counting on it. You can never be sure just how drunk you'll get at the Landing, but it's inevitable. Sarah and I are both disappointed with our performances from yesterday, so I have a feeling tonight might be monumental. Bills already established the after the bar closes drinkfest at his place, so it's gonna be a long one. We are supposed to go to Gloria's tomorrow for brunch/tequila, we'll see how that all shakes out.
Stay tuned...
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Blogalicious
Blogging is hard work, you are always feeling the pressure from your beloved following of blog readers to write something interesting, interesting enough they will leave a message based on the blog you wrote. Blogging is weird, simple as that.
I have always aspired to write something great someday that people will read, possibly put on their coffee tables for guests to enjoy. Maybe in a few years time, this blog will be a book. Just a compilation of my blogs. It's probably already been done, but if not, here's the proof of the day the idea was formed. Forever on the internet, my grand idea.
The Word of Furr
Has a ring to it doesn't it? Would you look at me, shamelessly promoting my book that doesn't even exist. I'm awesome.
I'm going to blog my way to fame. Hopefully Letterman will have me on, Leno is a tard, I would turn him down, just on principle alone! Hell, maybe I'll just have my own HBO special. Man I could talk about a bunch of shit. I'm great at making fun of others, it makes me feel better about myself I guess. Nah, it's just fun. I'm sure while I'm people watching somewhere, at the same moment I am making fun of the guy with the black socks, someone will be making fun of me, for something, something that would probably make me cry.
Winning the lottery will probably come sooner than me being published, mark my words!
I have always aspired to write something great someday that people will read, possibly put on their coffee tables for guests to enjoy. Maybe in a few years time, this blog will be a book. Just a compilation of my blogs. It's probably already been done, but if not, here's the proof of the day the idea was formed. Forever on the internet, my grand idea.
The Word of Furr
Has a ring to it doesn't it? Would you look at me, shamelessly promoting my book that doesn't even exist. I'm awesome.
I'm going to blog my way to fame. Hopefully Letterman will have me on, Leno is a tard, I would turn him down, just on principle alone! Hell, maybe I'll just have my own HBO special. Man I could talk about a bunch of shit. I'm great at making fun of others, it makes me feel better about myself I guess. Nah, it's just fun. I'm sure while I'm people watching somewhere, at the same moment I am making fun of the guy with the black socks, someone will be making fun of me, for something, something that would probably make me cry.
Winning the lottery will probably come sooner than me being published, mark my words!
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Boredom
It's Saturday afternoon at 1pm, and I'm a prisoner in my own home....waiting on the Dish Network installers. God love the Noon to Five schedules these companies have.
I really want some coffee, but don't have any milk. Can't leave my house for fear they will call as soon as I am in my car, driving away. Then my appointment must be rescheduled. Suppose I can just drink it black if I'm really so desperate for a cup of Joe. I drink it black sometimes anyway. Just something to bitch about really.
It's cold as fuck here. I'm a happy girl. But of course with a light drizzle, and temps in the 20's, traffic is a nightmare, there are wrecks all over Dallas today. Sure hope the Dish dudes don't use that as an excuse, or I'm gonna be one ticked off mama!
Had to deal with a work crisis this morning at 10am, of course I was awoken from my restless sleep, and had to scramble to find what was needed. Fed Ex of course is using this weather as an excuse not to deliver anything until Monday. Did check weather.com and saw that Memphis got hit pretty hard (where the hub for Fed Ex is located), so at least they have an excuse for once. Luckily I have good suppliers that will stop their lives to take care of me, and that's what they did, so all is well in the workplace again. Hopefully no more phonecalls from work. Love dealing with work on the weekends, it's awesome!
Guess I'm gonna finish my breakfast, smoke a cig and attempt to begin cleaning this filthy place, as Ms. Sarah will be here on Thursday!
That's all for now....
I really want some coffee, but don't have any milk. Can't leave my house for fear they will call as soon as I am in my car, driving away. Then my appointment must be rescheduled. Suppose I can just drink it black if I'm really so desperate for a cup of Joe. I drink it black sometimes anyway. Just something to bitch about really.
It's cold as fuck here. I'm a happy girl. But of course with a light drizzle, and temps in the 20's, traffic is a nightmare, there are wrecks all over Dallas today. Sure hope the Dish dudes don't use that as an excuse, or I'm gonna be one ticked off mama!
Had to deal with a work crisis this morning at 10am, of course I was awoken from my restless sleep, and had to scramble to find what was needed. Fed Ex of course is using this weather as an excuse not to deliver anything until Monday. Did check weather.com and saw that Memphis got hit pretty hard (where the hub for Fed Ex is located), so at least they have an excuse for once. Luckily I have good suppliers that will stop their lives to take care of me, and that's what they did, so all is well in the workplace again. Hopefully no more phonecalls from work. Love dealing with work on the weekends, it's awesome!
Guess I'm gonna finish my breakfast, smoke a cig and attempt to begin cleaning this filthy place, as Ms. Sarah will be here on Thursday!
That's all for now....
Friday, February 17, 2006
Dog House
Friday night, almost 9pm. This whole buying a house thing is really cramping my style. I really want to go out, or at least I think I do, because isn't that what a 30 year old single girl is supposed to do? How am I going to ever do that dating thing if I don't go out right? I really don't need to spend the money though. Just paid all my bills for this paycheck, and as usual, I'm broke, and I just got paid 2 days ago. Luckily my credit card (the only one I'll allow myself to use anyway) is maxed, maybe that'll help keep me in. $17 on it actually, so sad....
I'm sure I'll end up out and about in a few hours, I always do. I guess I should do it now, cuz when I sign those house papers, there will be no going out for a while. It's going to turn into a 2 times a month thing, if I'm lucky. Man, that's gonna be weird....
In the beginning it won't be so bad, because hopefully I can lure people over to see my new pad and play the whole "bring some beer cuz I'm poor" routine. Maybe some of them will be kind enough to offer up their painting services, that would rock too! Gave my dad a call the other day to tell him about my recent ventures and he offered up his services without my prompt, so that's awesome. He own's his own "fixer upper" service. He paints, remodels, fences, tiles, basically anything but electrical, plumbing and carpeting. So that's gonna be so rad, cuz I know all I'll have to do is supply the materials (and he gets a contractor's discount) and feed him, make sure his iced tea or dr. pepper is always full. He's going to save me a small fortune alone!
My goal is to make my place rad enough that people will want to hang out there, that way only going out twice a month isn't so bad, cuz the par-tay will come to me!
Over on the puppy side of my life, went tonight to Petsmart and spent almost $100 on doggy supplies, she'll be good and spoiled already! Crates are expensive by the way, who knew a bunch of wire could cost so much? Got a cute little red dog collar, tags, a chocolate brown bed that has fuzzies inside, the crate, some smell good stuff and food. Already had some brand new toys, the leash and water and food dishes. Blanca is good to go.
Yep, sticking with Blanca, from what I hear from her parents (Jr. & Mia) she sounds like a feisty mexican woman, so the name stays. Think it'll suit her fine. She will be going to doggy training, so hopefully I can calm her down a bit. Who am I kidding, when I get her she will only be 9 weeks old. She's gonna drive me BONKERS!
But I'm excited, I've never owned an actual puppy. My last dog was a rescue, and he was about 2 years old when he was adopted. He's still alive, the ex-fiance got the rights. Bastard. That was one kick ass dog, I miss Scooter, a.k.a. Puter, Le Scoot, and various other nicknames.
That's about all for now. Think I'm gonna go smoke, take a bath and shave my hairy legs, then decide if I'm going out or not. Also need to eat somewhere in there.
I'm sure I'll end up out and about in a few hours, I always do. I guess I should do it now, cuz when I sign those house papers, there will be no going out for a while. It's going to turn into a 2 times a month thing, if I'm lucky. Man, that's gonna be weird....
In the beginning it won't be so bad, because hopefully I can lure people over to see my new pad and play the whole "bring some beer cuz I'm poor" routine. Maybe some of them will be kind enough to offer up their painting services, that would rock too! Gave my dad a call the other day to tell him about my recent ventures and he offered up his services without my prompt, so that's awesome. He own's his own "fixer upper" service. He paints, remodels, fences, tiles, basically anything but electrical, plumbing and carpeting. So that's gonna be so rad, cuz I know all I'll have to do is supply the materials (and he gets a contractor's discount) and feed him, make sure his iced tea or dr. pepper is always full. He's going to save me a small fortune alone!
My goal is to make my place rad enough that people will want to hang out there, that way only going out twice a month isn't so bad, cuz the par-tay will come to me!
Over on the puppy side of my life, went tonight to Petsmart and spent almost $100 on doggy supplies, she'll be good and spoiled already! Crates are expensive by the way, who knew a bunch of wire could cost so much? Got a cute little red dog collar, tags, a chocolate brown bed that has fuzzies inside, the crate, some smell good stuff and food. Already had some brand new toys, the leash and water and food dishes. Blanca is good to go.
Yep, sticking with Blanca, from what I hear from her parents (Jr. & Mia) she sounds like a feisty mexican woman, so the name stays. Think it'll suit her fine. She will be going to doggy training, so hopefully I can calm her down a bit. Who am I kidding, when I get her she will only be 9 weeks old. She's gonna drive me BONKERS!
But I'm excited, I've never owned an actual puppy. My last dog was a rescue, and he was about 2 years old when he was adopted. He's still alive, the ex-fiance got the rights. Bastard. That was one kick ass dog, I miss Scooter, a.k.a. Puter, Le Scoot, and various other nicknames.
That's about all for now. Think I'm gonna go smoke, take a bath and shave my hairy legs, then decide if I'm going out or not. Also need to eat somewhere in there.
Monday, February 13, 2006
People Fucking Suck
So as you can see, I'm back REAL soon. I left you to go watch some Monday night TV, noticed that the record button wasn't' glowing on my Dish. Did a few things, it wasn't working, so began the long journey of talking to a technician. After he couldn't figure it out through testing, we got into the cost of having a technician come to my house. As I began my fit of "why should this cost me a dime?" I walked outside to be sure nothing was in the way of the dish or whatever, and guess what, no picture, because no satellite dish! Someone stole the god damned dish right off the side of my house! Guess it's a sign I need to move.
So this all began at 7:20pm, it's now 8:05, and I'm waiting on a supervisor because I have reached the livid stage. Not only are they telling me I have to go to a store to buy a new dish, but then it's going to cost me even more to get them to come out and reinstall it! Are you fucking kidding me??? What should be happening is that they should be setting an appointment at MY convenience and only charging me a small fee because someone STOLE it from my house.
So it's now 8:15, I never spoke to the supervisor, the girl comes back, and guess what, my livid remarks worked! Not only am I getting an upgrade, but it's all free! They are coming and doing everything on Saturday! I could have had sooner, but I can't really miss 5 hours of work over a satellite, pretty lame reason to take a 1/2 day. I'll just have to live without TV this week. So probably lots of blogging, because there's nothing else for me to do!
So what came out of evil, some good. Thank you Dish Network for fixing the problem, and stopping me from smearing your name to whoever would listen to me! 1 hour of phone time, and I got what I wanted, and more!
So this all began at 7:20pm, it's now 8:05, and I'm waiting on a supervisor because I have reached the livid stage. Not only are they telling me I have to go to a store to buy a new dish, but then it's going to cost me even more to get them to come out and reinstall it! Are you fucking kidding me??? What should be happening is that they should be setting an appointment at MY convenience and only charging me a small fee because someone STOLE it from my house.
So it's now 8:15, I never spoke to the supervisor, the girl comes back, and guess what, my livid remarks worked! Not only am I getting an upgrade, but it's all free! They are coming and doing everything on Saturday! I could have had sooner, but I can't really miss 5 hours of work over a satellite, pretty lame reason to take a 1/2 day. I'll just have to live without TV this week. So probably lots of blogging, because there's nothing else for me to do!
So what came out of evil, some good. Thank you Dish Network for fixing the problem, and stopping me from smearing your name to whoever would listen to me! 1 hour of phone time, and I got what I wanted, and more!
Dating...
Yeah, like the title doesn't say it all, right? It's awful! I hate it! Well, I say I hate it, but it's hard to hate something you don't do.
Well, to give you some background on me, for those few of you who read my blog that don't actually know me....I'm 30, I'm single and it sucks. Almost got married once, a little over two years ago. He broke it off, he ended up marrying his mistress. Yeah, so needless to say, I haven't been too keen on meeting any new boys, the last one turned out to be a complete failure. Plus, I have learned a lot about myself in the last few years. I have a bit more clarity into what kind of man would suit me. At this point, I'm pretty damned certain he doesn't exist. I'm a total pain in the ass! (at least I know it, right?)
So I have been a member of match.com for quite a while. I've gone on one date from it. He was a really nice guy, different time in my life, maybe I'd have given the poor fella more than one date. Nothing really wrong with him, just felt no sexual chemistry, so figured, why bother, let the guy move on.
My philosophy is rather simple when it comes to finding a mate for myself. If there is anything that I feel "off" about him, that's it, no more, nothing, it's over. Why bother wasting my time or his, right? Well, I think I should revise it. I'm not letting any of these poor suckers have a chance! Worst case scenario, I got out on 2 or 3 more dates, and it doesn't pan into more, at least I've gotten some free meals out of it!
So with the current house hunting going on, I've realized I'm going to have to change a lot about my lifestyle to be able to afford a home. One of them being, quit spending so much money on going out to dinner and to the bar. My solution? Start dating! So this should be fun.
I hate dates with strangers. Because let's face it, that's what they are. At least with the online thing, you get a bit of a background and some pics, so it's not a blind date, but still just as excrutiating for me. Dating is so awful. You are totally not yourself. Case and point, me! I wear makeup and get dressed up for dates. That's not really me, I don't particularly care for makeup at all, it's kind of gross when you think about it (think about it) and as far as clothes, my favorite outfit is a t-shirt and one of my 12 pairs of pajama bottoms, my ex used to call it "my uniform" and it's true. When I'm at home, the first thing I do when I walk in the door is change into that, and of course rip off my bra as quick as humanly possible. Do I go out in public like that, no, but I would if my boobies weren't so big. These girls gotta be holstered, I could inflict some serious harm to someone without the over the shoulder.....
I smile a lot on dates. I am so not a smiler, never have been. My cheeks are usually hurting by the end of the night from the strain of my face being in a contorted, abnormal way. I laugh at things he might say, even I don't think they are funny, but know he was trying to be. The real Shawna would call him out on it, and say something like, yeah, no so much or something like that.
Then why not just be yourself Shawna, you are asking yourself?
Simple, I wouldn't even have to worry about saying yes or no to a second date, because he wouldn't ask! The real Shawna is kind of annoying. I know this about myself, and try not to be, but I think that's just who I am. How am I annoying? Well, I say mean things, like telling him his joke wasn't funny, I swear WAY too much, I smoke, so if we are drinking, there will be smoking whether he likes it or not, oh, and I tend to over drink (haha, I know you are all laughing there) on dates, because of the nerves, so then drunk Shawna might come out. End of story.
Man, I need to work on me, re-reading why I'm annoying, just annoyed me! HAHAHA
So on my match profile, I am pretty damned honest, I say I'm overly assertive, too aggressive and I intimidate most men, so I feel the ones who are actually emailing me, like an annoying bitch, it's what they get right? Too bad most of them are my father's age.....SO GROSS! I guess they are too old to see the part of my profile where I'm looking for men between the ages of 25-45, or they just don't care, who knows.
Sidebar: I figure 5 years younger could be fun, and 15 years older is my max, to explain my age limitations.
So let the dating adventures begin, if I can. I'll keep you posted.
Well, to give you some background on me, for those few of you who read my blog that don't actually know me....I'm 30, I'm single and it sucks. Almost got married once, a little over two years ago. He broke it off, he ended up marrying his mistress. Yeah, so needless to say, I haven't been too keen on meeting any new boys, the last one turned out to be a complete failure. Plus, I have learned a lot about myself in the last few years. I have a bit more clarity into what kind of man would suit me. At this point, I'm pretty damned certain he doesn't exist. I'm a total pain in the ass! (at least I know it, right?)
So I have been a member of match.com for quite a while. I've gone on one date from it. He was a really nice guy, different time in my life, maybe I'd have given the poor fella more than one date. Nothing really wrong with him, just felt no sexual chemistry, so figured, why bother, let the guy move on.
My philosophy is rather simple when it comes to finding a mate for myself. If there is anything that I feel "off" about him, that's it, no more, nothing, it's over. Why bother wasting my time or his, right? Well, I think I should revise it. I'm not letting any of these poor suckers have a chance! Worst case scenario, I got out on 2 or 3 more dates, and it doesn't pan into more, at least I've gotten some free meals out of it!
So with the current house hunting going on, I've realized I'm going to have to change a lot about my lifestyle to be able to afford a home. One of them being, quit spending so much money on going out to dinner and to the bar. My solution? Start dating! So this should be fun.
I hate dates with strangers. Because let's face it, that's what they are. At least with the online thing, you get a bit of a background and some pics, so it's not a blind date, but still just as excrutiating for me. Dating is so awful. You are totally not yourself. Case and point, me! I wear makeup and get dressed up for dates. That's not really me, I don't particularly care for makeup at all, it's kind of gross when you think about it (think about it) and as far as clothes, my favorite outfit is a t-shirt and one of my 12 pairs of pajama bottoms, my ex used to call it "my uniform" and it's true. When I'm at home, the first thing I do when I walk in the door is change into that, and of course rip off my bra as quick as humanly possible. Do I go out in public like that, no, but I would if my boobies weren't so big. These girls gotta be holstered, I could inflict some serious harm to someone without the over the shoulder.....
I smile a lot on dates. I am so not a smiler, never have been. My cheeks are usually hurting by the end of the night from the strain of my face being in a contorted, abnormal way. I laugh at things he might say, even I don't think they are funny, but know he was trying to be. The real Shawna would call him out on it, and say something like, yeah, no so much or something like that.
Then why not just be yourself Shawna, you are asking yourself?
Simple, I wouldn't even have to worry about saying yes or no to a second date, because he wouldn't ask! The real Shawna is kind of annoying. I know this about myself, and try not to be, but I think that's just who I am. How am I annoying? Well, I say mean things, like telling him his joke wasn't funny, I swear WAY too much, I smoke, so if we are drinking, there will be smoking whether he likes it or not, oh, and I tend to over drink (haha, I know you are all laughing there) on dates, because of the nerves, so then drunk Shawna might come out. End of story.
Man, I need to work on me, re-reading why I'm annoying, just annoyed me! HAHAHA
So on my match profile, I am pretty damned honest, I say I'm overly assertive, too aggressive and I intimidate most men, so I feel the ones who are actually emailing me, like an annoying bitch, it's what they get right? Too bad most of them are my father's age.....SO GROSS! I guess they are too old to see the part of my profile where I'm looking for men between the ages of 25-45, or they just don't care, who knows.
Sidebar: I figure 5 years younger could be fun, and 15 years older is my max, to explain my age limitations.
So let the dating adventures begin, if I can. I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Where I'm at Today
I know, I know, it's been a week since I've blogged. I was getting so good too! Shame on me, but alas, life has been happening, and I just haven't had the time to sit down and write about it. So a lot has been going on, and I'm blaming it on being 30. Since October, when I turned 30, I have been thinking about a lot of big changes in my life. I'm finally starting to actually quit thinking about it, and start doing it. Some smaller than others, some pretty fucking huge!
I'm getting a puppy the first weekend in March. For now, her name is Blanca, named by her current family. I think it's cute, and fits her, since she's mostly white, with a black patch on her eye. Makes sense, right? Well, I'm reaching stress level, because I know she is going to vastly change my life, in the long run, for the better, but she is a puppy, this should be fun.
I went to the dentist and decided to get their whitening system, since I'm a pack a day smoker, my teeth aren't exactly white anymore, white as the driven snow is more like it. Would you notice? Probably not, but you don't have to live with my teeth, I do, and it was only $100, so I figured whats the harm. I picked the "system" up yesterday and just forgot to start last night, so tonight will be the first night. There could quite possibly be a blog tomorrow discussing how painful the after effects are, we'll see.
So for the biggest of all, I'm now officially house hunting. Yep, Shawna's looking to be a homeowner. Yes, I sort of owned the duplex I lived in with my ex fiance, but he bought it before we were together, it wasn't in my name or anything, so of course I got no piece of that pie, even though I spent a small fortune in fix ups and stuff for the god damned place I got no piece of. Bastard...
Anyway, I contacted a realtor, I got a decent list of homes in the area I want to be in yesterday and will be doing some "drive by's" this weekend. It's all very exciting. I've been toying with the idea for the last two years, and just Monday decided it was time to shit or get off the pot. I need this for me, I LOVED being a homeowner and doing yardwork and making it my home, I found it rather therapeutic. I need some therapy for god's sake!
So that's about it for now. This week has flown by, I've really not had much time to just sit and chill, so I'm off to watch me some Earl & Office, so I can laugh and relax.
I promise I'll blog more soon!
I'm getting a puppy the first weekend in March. For now, her name is Blanca, named by her current family. I think it's cute, and fits her, since she's mostly white, with a black patch on her eye. Makes sense, right? Well, I'm reaching stress level, because I know she is going to vastly change my life, in the long run, for the better, but she is a puppy, this should be fun.
I went to the dentist and decided to get their whitening system, since I'm a pack a day smoker, my teeth aren't exactly white anymore, white as the driven snow is more like it. Would you notice? Probably not, but you don't have to live with my teeth, I do, and it was only $100, so I figured whats the harm. I picked the "system" up yesterday and just forgot to start last night, so tonight will be the first night. There could quite possibly be a blog tomorrow discussing how painful the after effects are, we'll see.
So for the biggest of all, I'm now officially house hunting. Yep, Shawna's looking to be a homeowner. Yes, I sort of owned the duplex I lived in with my ex fiance, but he bought it before we were together, it wasn't in my name or anything, so of course I got no piece of that pie, even though I spent a small fortune in fix ups and stuff for the god damned place I got no piece of. Bastard...
Anyway, I contacted a realtor, I got a decent list of homes in the area I want to be in yesterday and will be doing some "drive by's" this weekend. It's all very exciting. I've been toying with the idea for the last two years, and just Monday decided it was time to shit or get off the pot. I need this for me, I LOVED being a homeowner and doing yardwork and making it my home, I found it rather therapeutic. I need some therapy for god's sake!
So that's about it for now. This week has flown by, I've really not had much time to just sit and chill, so I'm off to watch me some Earl & Office, so I can laugh and relax.
I promise I'll blog more soon!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
So I got drunk, so fucking what?
So I'm going to keep this short (I hope) as I have had way too many cocktails. 4 Crown on the rocks and one shot of Tuaca to be exact.
Bottom line, I'm drunk, and should not be blogging right now, but what the hell, I'm drunk, right? It's got to hold some sort of comic relief.....yeah, I'll probably read this tomorrow and delete it before any of you have read it.
Basically, here's how it goes. I went on my sobriety bandwagon last month, and since today is Feb. 1, I felt it necessary to free myself of my non-alcohol contstraints, and also that I rant about them at 10:30pm after the fact!
I had a good time, but I'm already feeling the effects of a drunk on a "school night" as I still like to call them.
I KNOW I will be hung over tomorrow, I know my body and how it works, and I will most definitely feel like shit, there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind! Was it worth it? Nah, not really. I should have left after 3, I know my limit on non-hungover-ness, and I passed that point. Probably would have been ok if I hadn't done the shot, but hindsight is 20/20, right?
But there were groups of people in and out that I hadn't chatted with in a while, and a somewhat cute boy in the pool room (Amanda and Allison didn't think so, but again, I had my drunk goggles on) and just the basic excuse of drinking to excess.
Hope you enjoy my drunken rant, I'm off to attempt to watch TV, but inevitably will pass out on the couch, as I do so often. Alarm is pre-set in the bedroom, so I know I'll get up in time.....
Bottom line, I'm drunk, and should not be blogging right now, but what the hell, I'm drunk, right? It's got to hold some sort of comic relief.....yeah, I'll probably read this tomorrow and delete it before any of you have read it.
Basically, here's how it goes. I went on my sobriety bandwagon last month, and since today is Feb. 1, I felt it necessary to free myself of my non-alcohol contstraints, and also that I rant about them at 10:30pm after the fact!
I had a good time, but I'm already feeling the effects of a drunk on a "school night" as I still like to call them.
I KNOW I will be hung over tomorrow, I know my body and how it works, and I will most definitely feel like shit, there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind! Was it worth it? Nah, not really. I should have left after 3, I know my limit on non-hungover-ness, and I passed that point. Probably would have been ok if I hadn't done the shot, but hindsight is 20/20, right?
But there were groups of people in and out that I hadn't chatted with in a while, and a somewhat cute boy in the pool room (Amanda and Allison didn't think so, but again, I had my drunk goggles on) and just the basic excuse of drinking to excess.
Hope you enjoy my drunken rant, I'm off to attempt to watch TV, but inevitably will pass out on the couch, as I do so often. Alarm is pre-set in the bedroom, so I know I'll get up in time.....
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