Worms, Poop, and the comeback of The Wenis (and oh so much more!)

Extremely productive Saturday for me today, I got a lot accomplished! I'm gonna list them, and not discuss them, because I feel the list will do the talking!

1. Got up at 8:30am

2. Was not hung over at all (not drinking is kinda rad)

3. Dad came over

4. Walked around the house, discussing the items of repair

5. Installed ceiling fan

6. Went to breakfast, then Home Depot for supplies

7. Installed a new pump & valve on the hallway toilet

8. Installed a clothing dowel in the guest bedroom (it did not have one at all)

9. Fixed weed eater by Dad teaching me how to thread it properly

10. Cleaned most of the windowsills in the house

11. Dusted off every fan (I now have 4) and cleaned light fixtures on them

12. Swept living room and kitchen floors

13. Mopped the kitchen floor

14. Started laundry (3 loads total, not going to list them all, then I might look like a showoff!)

15. Cleaned shower and tub with Simple Green

16. Vacuumed both bedrooms, the office and the hallway

17. Extermigator showed up (I'll explain later)

18. IM'ed with "D" (more to come)

19. Took shower

20. Began this blog

Wow, I am totally impressed with myself, who the fuck cares if it impresses you! I haven't been this productive in MONTHS! It's raining again, so I'm just going to stay in again and probably play Spades online (and old obsession now returned, that'll be a blog soon as well) and possibly watch something that I had recorded. Who knows, the night's still young.

In the spirit of what I thought was one of the most hilarious of all time, I have another addition for you tonight folks (yep, this is a long-ass blog) brought to you by yours truly and the infamous "D"! It's really long, but hey, don't read it if you don't wanna, it's a free country!

Me: sorry, exterminator showed up
"D": cool
Me: yeah, I'm pretty sure he's gay, isn't that odd? a gay exterminator? you think a gay man would think bugs are "oogy" ahhaha
Me: dude, he's all spraying all the way up to the roof and in the trees! totally kick fucking ASS
"D": sweet
Me: but this spray is making me sneeze like crazy
Me: wonder if it'll get me high, or just poison me! hahaha
"D": hehe
Me: I'm gonna ask him once he's done

"D": good idea
Me: yeah, better safe than poisoned! haha
"D": no shit
Me: kill those mother fuckin' worms!!! wooo hoooo
Me: even my dad was surprised at the multitude of them
"D": yeah stupid gay worms! oh, sorry Mr exterminator, no offense
Me: HA, nice!
"D": I wonder if he "likes" worms
Me: gettin' to the wenis portion of the joking
"D": wenis?
"D": is that a worm-penis
Me: yeah, betheboy used wenis the other day on his blog and i thot it was hilarious
Me: no, but THAT is fucking hilarious! worm-penis = wenis
"D": I'd keep an eye on that guy, make sure he isn't molesting the worms
Me: i do think I've got a little "herd" of garden snakes tho, bet he'd be more than happy to wrangle him some snakes
"D": I'm sure he knows just what to do with the snake
Me: bet the worms would like it, even if he accidentally tears one in 1/2, they regenerate, it's all good
Me: I've got some lizards back there too
"D": bonus, then you really could "tear that shit up"...
Me: they are albino, get a herd of them every year, but they are cool
"D": albino? you got some KKK lizards in your backyard?
Me: we are in the south
Me: but I'm in mexi-ville, do KKK hate the mexi's too?
"D": hence why they're always hiding
"D":oh sure, they're equal opportunity haters
Me: oh, they are way too outnumbered in these parts
"D": yep, even with regeneration
Me: i guess Mexicans would have a menis?
"D": no it's called an enchilada
Me: nah, i see it more as a tamale or a flauta
"D": not an inch-ilada though
Me: enchiladas are too soft
Me: haha, inchilada
Me: yeah, it's the bug chemicals
"D": they're turning you gay!
Me: i didn't fuck around and get organic, i know my neighbor is probably at his window hanging his head in shame
Me: and possibly horror
Me: i might need to ask for my key back
"D": yeah? whys that?
Me: well, ya know how activists can get, look at PETA for god's sake
"D": so you think they'll kidnap me to get my key?
Me: he could come in and dump a bag of organic manure (is that redundant?) in my living room or bed or something

Me: like the horse head in The Godfather
"D": I want to know Inorganic manure would be???
"D": Robot shit?
Me: nice, always good to throw in robot references, betheboy loves that shit
"D": Is it like a pile of wires and circuits?
Me: maybe some oil
Me: anti-freeze
Me: no one likes a cold robot
"D": no that would be robot diarrhea
Me: well yeah, maybe, it could be a mixture between the two, there are all kindsa poop types you know

Me: the corn poop
Me: the never ending wipe poop
Me: the ghost poop (can't find it in the toilet or on toilet paper)
Me: there's a poster of em all somewhere, or something, i saw it on the "Internets"
"D": nice, we'll have to get it for the studio
Me: um, i dunno if I'd want poop on my wall necessarily
Me: figuratively of course
"D": well, art is art
Me: unless we had kids on accident, then we really could possibly have poop on our walls
Me: i can tell ya i ain't cleaning that SHIT (pun intended) up
"D": Okay that's it, now I want kids!!!
"D": The shit on the walls did it for me...
Me: so you can have poop art, or so we could argue about who's cleaning the shit that time?
Me: you know poop smells right?
"D": for how long?
Me: would you spray some sort of lacquer or something on it, to preserve it?
"D": Brilliant! We'll stain the poop!!!!
Me: and them put a frame around it? not necessarily w/a piece of glass or anything
Me: why'd you stain poop? stain is generally brown, like poop, you could SPRAY paint poop
"D": POOP SPRAY!!!!! INGENIOUS!!!!
Me: no, it's not, there was a movie w/ben stiller & jack black
"D": That was Va-POO-Rize
Me: yeah, that's it, haha
"D": Yeah, this is like spray paint but for Poop Art, I just coined that term....
"D": We're going to patent this
Me: anyway, need to go check on gay exterminator, make sure my worms aren't humped to death
"D": poor gay worms....
Me: they could be underage too, i mean, who knows a worms age? fucking gay worm molester
"D": word
"D": I mean worm
Me: oh and "extermigator" (yep, that's what i thot of when i was talking to him) thought my house was "so cute, i just love it so much!"
"D": haha
"Me: extermigator...rad, maybe I am high...

The Police recap and one legged folk

My blog today consists of an IM session I had with a friend/fellow co-worker this morning, post-Police, the first part will give you our thoughts, the second part, well, it's going to offend, like BetheBoy sometimes offends with his midget issues and talks of trannys. I really hope you enjoy, because I was laughing so hard I thought I was gonna die. This friend of mine is always crackin' jokes and such and he really made my morning just wonderful, here's to you buddy!

Him: Oh man, I'm still blown away.
Me: yeah, they fuckin' rocked!
Me: sounded fantastic
Him: totally. They still got a couple of albums in them if they chose to record.
Me: you think they will?
Him: I can only hope.
Me: i don't see it, they looked like they were having a good time, but i dunno....
Me: i thot they were just coming back for this one tour, didn't think they were "getting back together" or anything
Him: what I would be interested in having is all the stuff they laid down that never made albums. At least that would be cool. The only thing that makes me think they wouldn't do any new stuff is because Andy is an old dood.
Me: haha, yeah, he didn't stay in shape like the other two did he? hehehe
Me: OH! I'd be all over a "hidden track" album, that could be really awesome
Him: lol....nah....plus he's about 10 years older than everyone else.
Me: yeah, i had to bust out the crackberry to prove to my boyfriend that sting was in his mid fifties!
Me: wasn't sure how old he was, but that makes sense
Me: cuz he looked tired! hahaha
Him: He was born in 1942
Me: sting was born in 51 , he'll be 56 in october
Me: all that yoga and tantric sex makin' him still look good! haha
Him: yeah...He's getting up there. Stu is a bit younger than Sting even.
Me: yeah, his friggin ARMS were out of control, he looks great too
Me: i was mezmerized by his drumming...fucking unreal
Him: he's still the man.
Him: Yeah so Andy is what? 65?
Me: i know everyone say's the Rush drummer is the shizz, but I'm just not a Rush fan (most chicks aren't) so I'm all over Stu
Me: stu was born in '52, only a year younger than sting
Him: yeah...thats right. I knew he was close.
Him: Andys not too old to at least do a new studio album with them even if they didnt tour behind it.
Me: fucking weird, completely sober for the show, first show EVER to be sober! haha
Him: I had two beers. They have been my fav band since 1970-something and I didn't get to see them then so I stayed stone cold sober for it. Didnt want to miss a thing.
Me: wow, that's cool, had no idea they were your fav
Me: yeah, andy could probably do that...but if they were to tour again, dunno if he could do it, and dunno if sales would be as high w/out him
Me: that was the best part, that is WAS the original 3
Him: oh yeah....always have been so I was bummed when they broke up after Synchro because I thought I'd never see them.

So I had to set it up, so this made sense, why we went into this diatribe....this is when it gets awesome:

Me: but Paul McCartney is 65 and still touring, maybe Sting and Stewey need to get Andy in the gym w/them, buff his ass up a bit! haha
Him: lol...hell yeah! I'm starting to think Paul is going to be around forever.
Me: i think Paul might not be Paul anymore, his organs have been replaced with Robot parts
Him: heh....he has the money I am sure.
Me: yeah, and he married a chick w/no leg for a while, i'm sure she had some interesting connections! hahaha
Me: seriously, i really don't think i could have sex w/a dude with a missing leg....i think i'd laugh too much at how weird it was! hahaha
Me: and then he'd be sad
Me: and "deflated"
Him: oh god...nah...that pretty much would end the first date for me
Me: oh yeah? even tho for you it just makes for easier access? hehe
Him: lol...yeah...I dont think I could handle that.
Me: ric said he's gonna think about his stance on it....I say he'd do it....hahaha
Him: nice.
Him: He'd have a leg up on his partner.
Me: LOL
Me: seriously, out loud and LOUD
Him: definitely need someone new for the potato sack races.
Me: STOP
Me: HAHAHAHAHA
Him: Would he describe his sex life as "Half calf" then?
Me: you are SICK, i love it!
Him: Would he sing ZZ top tunes to her like "She's got leg, and she knows how to use it"?
Me: you are such a FREAK
Me: are you high right now????
Him: lol...nah....jsut woke up
Me: wow, my brain doesn't work that well this early
Him: "Knockin me out with that American thigh"
Me: i cant' stop laughing and they are about to yell at me, i know it! hehe
Him: He wouldn't spend near the money on shoes for her though.
Me: i'm actually crying i'm laughing so hard!!!!!
Him: Would she buy a pair of "Docker" or "Levi" instead of Dockers or Levis?
Him: No more long walks by the beach.
Me: you are so silly
Him: I wonder if she would be offended if he bought her some Legos
Me: just choked on coffee on that one
Him: Tell Ric that his "girlfriend" would die because her parachute pants would fail.
Me: ok, i have a blog, and i'm totally putting his convo on today's post, no joke, this is too fucking hilarious
Me: i'm sure it will offend, which is even BETTER!
Him: F em.
Me: oh, my blog offends people all the time, i love it!
Him: thats greatness.

Is that bacon I smell?

Short post, sorry, but gotta get ready.

Going to see The Police tonight. Yes, the one and only! So excited! This is pretty much a once in a lifetime experience hopefully (if they tour again, I will forever say they suck major cock) and I'm so glad I get to see them. Sting's son's band will be the opening act, if we miss a little of that, I don't really care. I'm there for one reason only!

It's at a huge arena, which I'm not real keen on, but it's the Mother Fucking POLICE, so I don't give a DAMN! Sound quality usually sucks balls at these kinds of shows, that's my point.

Could I cuss some more in this post?

Ta Da!

Sorry I haven't been posting. I think I might be back, now that some things have calmed to a normal pace. Writer’s block? If you want to consider a blogger a writer, which I suppose I do. Some are better than others for sure, but I do think that. I guess I’ll just do some brief synopsis of each thing that has been going on with me, otherwise this would be about 40 pages long. The thought of reading that makes ME yawn, and it’s me I’m talking about!

Things with "D" are still great! We decided to be honest to goodness "boyfriend/girlfriend" exactly 2 months ago today. Yes, we told eachother happy anniversary, but we are not so gay that we are like celebrating or anything crazy. We spend lots of time together and generally have a great time. I met his inner circle of friends for the first time on Saturday night and they are all great! Small world, one of the girls I actually went to high school with, when I went to high school in Waxahachie. No, we didn’t really hang in the same crowd, but we definitely knew who eachother were! Too funny! He mowed my yard yesterday while I cut back bushes and things, man, that was awesome, because those bushes and things would not have been cut back if he weren’t there, and they really, really had needed to be for quite some time! He just told me on IM that he really enjoyed it! Sucker! Now he’s REALLY in it for the long-haul, you think I’m doing my yard without him around again? Heck no!

I had been smoke free since June 15th before this weekend. I cheated on Friday and Saturday nights (I know, I know) but I’m back on track. I just need to stay away from alcohol, that screws it all up. I’m not really even sure why I drank, as I knew it would create a problem, as my "crazy" medication makes drinking not so much fun anymore, so I really haven’t been drinking anyway. I know, so weird, no smoking/drinking Shawna? She’s not bad, and she can drive YOUR drunk ass home! I definitely drove "D"s drunk ass home on Saturday! Hahaha I actually managed to get a buzz on Friday, but threw up when I got home. What happens when I drink on the meds is that I can drink and drink and drink, not catch a buzz, but puke pretty badly. Yeah, not so much fun, so decided just not to drink! On Saturday I had 2 beers and that was it. I know, at a party with a bunch of people I don’t know, and I stayed sober. Crazy! I guess I really am growing up. Weird.

My girl Jodi will be back in the South very, very soon. Let’s see, I think they arrive in Shreveport on the 1st of July, so 6 days from now! "D" and I will be going the 6th-9th to see my girl, the new house and all of that stuff! Oh, and of course Troy! I am super excited to have her only a 3 hour drive away. I think I’m going to become extremely familiar with Interstate 20. When they were out in February, they bought some really nice leather chairs, they’ve been at my house since, so "D" and I will be delivering their lovely new chairs to them too!

Next weekend (weather dependant, as Texas is now the new Oregon/Washington) as it’s STILL raining here I plan to cut back the big trees in my yard with "D", Colleen, Scott and my Dad. We had a week or so of dry, but there’s rain in the forecast for the next 9 days! I’ve got a ton of trees and they should have been done last year when I moved in, but we all know how that goes. Well, it’s reached critical importance as trees are starting to intertwine into eachother and hit power-lines and my roof and all that fun stuff. I have a feeling the limbs and stuff are going to be so high it will be like a fence in front of my house when we are done! Should be a ton of fun, and I know I’ll be sore as hell on Monday from it! The yard work from yesterday as rendered my arms and the back of my thighs sore as shit today. But, it’s a great workout!

Since TV really does suck right now, I have finally emptied my camera so I can start taking pics for every post. I can take some pics of the house and such, now that it has furniture in it. Although, it really needs a good cleaning, so I might scratch that until I get the motivation to do a good cleaning. Maybe not, who knows. They of course will be nowhere as amazing as Iamnot’s work, as I am no photographer! I really want to do the whole before and after action for all the home improvement stuff I plan to do. The tree’s will probably be an interesting shot. That is, if I remember to take the before! Hahaha If nothing else, I know I’ll take a shot of the impressive stack of tree debri that will be in front of my house for the bulk trash folks to pick up!

Oh, I also have a little baby iPod now, "D" bought it for me. It’s the smallest one I’ve ever seen, it’s so cute! It’s for working out and such, you clip it on your shirt or whatever, think it’s a Gig, so it’ll hold about 250 songs, not bad! I need to get going on actually plugging it into my computer and making use of the damned thing. I’ve wanted one forever, now that I’ve got one, it just sits on my dining room table in it’s box. I have no idea what my deal is, but my motivation is for shit right now. I think the only reason I actually did cut down the bushes and such yesterday is that I would have felt guilty "D" out there all sweatin’ it up and me sitting inside in the cool AC! I did do a shitton of laundry yesterday too, and unloaded the dishwash and went to Home Depot (god I love that place)!

I’ll be headed to Chicago at the end of July for this event. It will be my first tradeshow in this industry, so it should be interesting to see what it’s like. I wonder if anyone will come dressed up in their geek gear? We don’t have a booth this year, but SL’s agency gal (and also pal) will be there with me, so she and I can brainstorm and decide how to "wow" them next year! This will be my first booth to get to actually have SAY in what it is, rather than just producing what they want, so I’m excited about that! Already have some ideas brewing as a matter of fact. I always had thoughs and views about my last place of employment and what they did, although never said anything (to their faces anyway). Actually when SL’s agency became the last jobs agency (through me of course) our tradeshow booth was actually something I was proud of! Imagine that! We are going out early, to have a little fun, I’ve never been to Chi-Town so I’m really excited. We are going to a Cub’s game on the Sunday we are there. I really don’t care about baseball (my least fav major sporting event) but it’s Wrigley Field…it’s an American Institution!

Guess that's about it for now, a lot of other stuff is going on in my life too (no, I'm not pregnant) but I'll leave some stuff out, so I'll have something to blog about tomorrow and the day after that!

Here's a pic from last summer, I fostered Petey, I'm sure I talked about him, but don't remember posting pics. If I weren't lazy, I'd go check if I had talked about him, but whatever. Hell, I might have even posted this pic! hahaha



Edit: didn't blog when I had Petey, fostered him last summer, he was about 10 years old, Georgie and Petey were buddies, but Petey was a barker when outside and also was crate trained and it was hard, I'll do a story about Petey, in his honor! He's not dead or anything, just got adopted! Georgie is the one "hogging" the picture, Petey is probably passed out like that from Georgie terrorizing him! hahaha

Shawna has not been blogging because...

Essay time...you finish the story, tell me why I haven't been blogging, be creative, maybe I'll send someone a prize! Here are just a few guidelines to get you started:

1. Must be longer than a sentence, a paragraph or two will suffice!

2. Feel free to say whatever you want, use whatever language you want (as you've noticed I do) and remember, I moderate comments, so I can delete it if it sucks!


Shawna has not been blogging because...

Seriously...I'm a freak!

So I just got done mowing my front and back yard and I was thinking to myself, man, I am so cheap! Let me explain.

I can drop cash on things like a bar tab, going to a nice restaurant, silly things for myself or my friends/loved one's. But when it comes to paying someone $50 to mow my yard, I just won't do it. Can I afford it? Absolutely I can. I just think that while I'm still capable, there is no reason for me not to do it. Other than it absolutely sucks now, because it's getting hot (90 degrees right now, at 8:45pm) and I need to lose weight and I was sweating like a pig and all hot and gross. My clothes were soaked by the time I got done, cuz the humidity here is un-fucking-believable!

I even had a maid for a while at my old place, before I bought this one. Why? I dunno, cuz I could! That was even more expensive! I've considered hiring them again, but that makes no sense! Why would I pay someone to clean my house, but not mow the yard? I mean the housekeeper is more expensive than the lawn folks! I am such a freak!

So that's my rant.

I still have yet to put my pics currently in my camera onto the computer, so I can take more, as promised, so for now I'll just steal cool images from Google, Johnny was a nice addition to my last post. Maybe I'll do something like this in a week or so, when I have to mow again!

Here's Your Fucking Post

Well, since I was called out on TWO posts from fellow friends/bloggers, I promised them I would post. So Dave and Suz, I really hope you two enjoy this, because it's all for you!

I was driving home thinking about what I would blog about and I came up with a whole lotta nothin. Not to say things haven't been going on, I just really have had no desire to spill it like I normally do. Not sure why. Feeling all private and no one can know about me or something? That doesn't sound like me at all. Who knows. So here's a recap of what's been going on.

Just got back from San Diego on Sunday. Had a great time, but it was too short and way too fast. I didn't actually get there until Thursday, as there was bad weather in Dallas on Wednesday and after about 6 hours of waiting, I just gave up and headed back home. Unbeknownst to me, the lovely ticketing agent hooked me up with first class on the way there, so that was really cool to get to experience. It's really nothing special, it's a bigger seat and they kept saying "Mrs. Furr, are you alright, can we get you anything?" always addressing me that way. Do I look like a Mrs.? No rings on EITHER of my fingers, last time I checked! But, I was happy to drink my free mimosa's (and they didn't skimp on the champagne either) and let them address me as I was a Mrs.

So I arrived and we immediately had to go to a hotel for a Senior Luncheon for my niece. She looked absolutely beautiful, just as she always does. I swear I was in an episode of The OC every time I was around my niece and her friends, no joke! They are all MODEL gorgeous kids, even most of the boys. You see, my niece has been privileged enough to attend private school all of her life, so most of her friends parents are DRIPPING with money. Not to say my sister doesn't do well in her life, because she does (shout out sis!) but compared to these kids, they might as well be flipping burgers at McDonald's.

Anyway, so the luncheon was nice, then it was home for a brief moment before we headed out for the Baccalaureate service. More of the same, lots of beautiful Catholic people in very expensive clothes and lots of jewelry! I don't think I saw one kid with bad teeth, everyone definitely had regular visits to the dentist.

Then my sister and I took my niece up to her school at 9pm, as they were getting on buses and headed to Disneyland for Senior Night. They open it to Seniors in surrounding areas and they get the run of the park until 5am. My niece said it was a nightmare, too many kids. She was only able to ride 3 rides the entire time she was there.

Friday I slept in, then took my niece to Nordstroms for the 2nd half of her graduation present, another pair of designer jeans! It's all the rage, and she already has 2 pair, so she was ready for a 3rd. Yep, 17 and is pimpin' it big time. Her "Aunt Nawna" loves to spoil her. She is truly a terrific kid/young lady. That night my sister made spaghetti for the entire family, her family, my dad and his wife, my other sister and her kids. Not too often my dad gets to sit down and eat with all 3 of his daughters, I'm sure he really enjoyed that.

Saturday was the graduation at 10am. It was fast, only an hour, which was good, my niece of course looked absolutely gorgeous as usual. She can even be beautiful in a white "sack" known as the graduation robe. After that my sister threw a small party for her, about 30 or so people I suppose. We ate, we drank, we were merry. I gave my niece the other part of her gift, that she knew about, a pretty silver Tiffany's ring that she picked out. The "ex" got me 50% off, so that was cool! That night we dropped her off for Grad Night, which the school throws for them at a Family Fun Center typo of place called Boomers! (yep, there's an exclamation point in the sign) she was there until 3am. Sunday just got up and got ready to go. Very fast and furious. And yes, I bawled at her graduation, so crazy, I can still remember the day she was born like it was just a few years ago.

Things with "D" are still kickin', he just started Summer 1 on Monday, so I won't really see much of him, he's got a pretty busy week, Sunday being the only day off from anything. I do enjoy my free time, so I really don't see it as too much of a problem, we will just have to make it a point not to forget about each other! He's a wonderful man, and I have a pretty strong feeling that I will be blogging about him for years to come. Maybe one day I'll even say his real name (even though most of you already know)!

Having a computer at home is great. In the next post, hopefully I'll have gotten motivated to put up some picks that I've taken. Oh, well, will take, as I haven't even taken old pics off of it, and onto the computer yet. I thought I'd be all over this thing once I got it, but obviously "not so much".

Hope that is good enough for now, I'm worn out!

Slacker

Yep, that's me, the slacker. Sorry, but I've been really busy and just haven't had a chance to sit down and blog.

Headed to San Diego in the morning for my nieces graduation, I'll start blogging again the week of the 4th, I promise!

It's Thursday

Sorry faithful readers, I'm sure you've all been checking my blog every 2.3 seconds for a new blog, haven't you? hahaha

I am so over reading and writing you have no idea! Our new site is FOR SURE launching on Monday, so the end is near...really, I mean it!

So what's new in my world? Got my confirmation that my computer shipped from Dell yesterday, so I should hopefully see my new baby early next week. Now if I could just get RoadRunner to call me back to set up an appointment, life would be perfect! "D" has even volunteered to come over and wait on them for an install next week, since he's between Spring and Summer semester! What a guy, what a guy! I think it more has to do with he can't stand the fact that he can't "Internet" at my house. Soon I will actually utilize my office, I am very excited about that! I have 3 entire rooms in my house that never get used. The office, the guest room (obviously gets used when I have guests) and the "pool table" room. This will probably turn into "the studio" when and if "D" moves in with me someday. He's got a shitton of equipment, and it's a huge room!

Yesterday I was driving home, all prepared to mow my lawn (yet again, it's about once a week right now with all the rain we've been getting) and I pulled up and had to sit in my car for a minute. Someone had mowed the front yard! It looked great! I immediately knew it was my friendly neighbor next door. Now before you guys get all "oh, he likes you, oh, he has a crush on you" please know that he's old enough to be my father, is married and has kids my age. His kids are boys, so I think I'm the surrogate daughter in a way. He comes and takes Georgie on walks and last summer he brought me organic tomatoes from his garden, and man were they awesome. He's got a key to the house, he's just a good guy that looks out for me. We talked and I joked about him trying to "tell me something" and he got all flustered and upset and said he was just trying to help me out, knowing that I work hard and stuff. I had to apologize to him, I felt bad! He's just a friendly semi-retired guy that has nothing more to do than putter around in the yard! What an awesome neighbor!

"D" will get his truck back tomorrow, although they gave him a Mustang as a rental, and he's been having fun "pimpin" in it. I've been so busy, I didn't get to enjoy the Mustang, but at least he did, hell, he deserves it anyway, I'm the one who fucked up his truck!

Sorry I haven't blogged this week, just sick of looking at computers and words. Once I get my computer at home, not only will the blogs be better, I'll start takin' pics of shit too!

12 Hour Day....

Well, I got to work at 7:15am this morning and am still here. I'm not bitching, because this is the FIRST day, since 2/1/07 when I started that I've actually needed to stay late. We are attempting to launch our website, version 2 soon....like tomorrow. Let me tell you, in all my years of experience, I have never gone through a website launch and it's a bitch, let me tell ya. It's a shitton of work.

I'll be in again tomorrow at 7am to review copy again. For those of you who I talk to on a regular basis, you know I've been in copy hell for several weeks now. BUT, the end is in site. I think.

I think I can leave soon, just waiting on our web guy to say he's doing the rest from home, hopefully that's soon. I need to make sure he doesn't have any further questions for me. I don't need any reason for something not getting done.

I am tired, couldn't get to sleep last night, so I'm only on five hours, which I usually need a good eight to be really fresh and functional. I am definitely losing steam, I can tell you all that much. The bad thing is, I know I'll go home and over-obsess about it and worry about it all night long and again, probably only get about five hours of sleep.

At my last job this was generally an every day occurrence, it's amazing how quickly your body gets used to actually getting sleep and enjoying it! I worked on average at my last job about 60 hours a week. It was nothing to work 12 hour shifts during the week, then put in a few more on the weekend. SL has spoiled me.

Off to check on the designer, hopefully he'll tell me to scram!

Dream Analysis - Bring It On!

I had the weirdest dream last night, what do my faithful readers think it means? Please post your analysis in comments.

So in this dream, the home I own is not the current one I own, it's definitely a "dream" house. I get a knock at the door and open it to a large group of people I know, or have known and were friends with in the past. For those of you who know me, here's a list of them that I can remember:

Jodi & Troy
Shelley
Denise
Alisha & Steve (and a bunch of their friends)
"D"
Sherri, Mark & Loren
Cullen
Brandon
Dave Thorn

Those are the folks I distinctly remember in this dream. So they've got some big thing covered up and lead me to my "barn". I put that in quotes, because it wasn't really a barn, it resembled a barn, but once you got inside it had a cement floor, was huge like a barn and had all kinds of random crap strewn about (definitely needed some clean up). Everyone is all smiles and I'm asking what this is all about and no one will tell me.

They make a big production of this thing that's covered up, put it up on a table and then drop the cover that's on it. It looks like a painting, probably 3 feet tall and about 8 feet wide. It's a sign, that plugs in, and has a name on it (and I don't remember what it said). It's a bar sign. Like welcome to whatever, come on in and have a drink.

I'm all confused yet excited and ask what's going on. They proceed to tell me that they are opening a bar in my barn. I get super excited (for those of you who don't know, that's what I'd eventually like to do, own a bar) and start asking a bazillion questions. That's when everyone's faces get a little weird.

Alisha sets up a credit card machine on a table and everyone pulls out their plastic and lines up. She tells everyone that their ante is X amount of dollars and everyone agrees to this. I ask about myself and no one will look at me, like I've got leprosy or something. Alisha tells me that she'll talk to me about that later. I assume nothing, as I figure, I don't have to ante up, since they are opening the bar in my barn, right? Wrong!

She takes me aside and tells me that the group decided as a whole that I was not allowed to be part owner of it, that no one trusted me. That they felt like I'd ruin it, and the bar would be shut down in a matter of days. Of course I start yelling at everyone saying things like, "It's my fucking property, are you people crazy? I thought you people were my FRIENDS, Jodi, what is going on???" Even Jodi won't look me in the eye. I next go to Cullen, who is a bartender at The Landing and ask if he had anything to do with it, did they think I would drink all the profits or something? He just shakes his head and looks down. Brandon's next, I start yelling, "if anyone is going to drink the profits away, it's gonna be Brandon, no offense Brandon, but don't you agree???" He laughs, his Brandon laugh and shrugs and says, "who knows, guess they like me more than you!" That would be a typical Brandon response, so I thought nothing of it really.

So everyone bolts except for Alisha and Steve. They take me into my house and sit me on the couch and tell me that it's for the best, that I should just relax and enjoy it and just be like the welcoming committee to new customers and such, almost like I'm a fucking hostess! I yell and scream some more, say something like, "we aren't even FRIENDS anymore, where the hell did you two come from and why are you trying to take my barn away along with my REAL friends??" They laugh and say that my friends contacted them about it, they had the most capital, and that's just the way it was going to be. I was free to move if I wanted to, but my Dad had already dealt with my mortgage company and I was going to lose my house! If I chose to just accept it, I was welcome to still live in my house and come to the bar whenever I wished.

What the fuck does that mean??? That's all I remember from the dream. I have not been friends with Alisha and Steve in several years, so I have no idea why they popped up and became the bad guys. Now I will admit, our friendship ended rather abruptly, so I'm sure there's some deep seeded issues there, but for the rest of the people on the list, those people ARE my CURRENT friends and family, what the hell does it mean?

Various Nothingness

Today has actually been a rather productive day here at work. We are working on a new website launch for Monday and I think we'll actually hit it. I may have to work a bit this weekend, but nothing I'm not used to. Not sure on that yet, I will do everything in my power to get it done before then.

I finally pushed the button at dell.com for my new home computer. I am so free spending when it's a couple hundred bucks, but when we are talking $1000.00 I get all freaked out, I don't know why. I'm a nerd. Got a good deal with no interest or payments for 12 months, so free money! I will have that puppy paid off way before then. I also had my resident "nerd" make sure what I got was "worthy" and he approved, so all is well. The unfortunate thing is that it's not scheduled to arrive until the 23-25, guess they are waiting on parts or something. That part sucks, but hopefully it'll get better, since I JUST did it. It is ridiculous that I work for a high tech company and I don't have a working computer at home! Now I just need to sign up for service and get that scheduled and I'll be set. Back into the 21st century once again! I can't believe I have gone an entire year without a computer at home. Now I'm all excited and can't wait for my new arrival!

I also received "D"s guitar I purchased for his birthday. Don't worry, he picked it out, so he already knows. I want to hear my damned song he wrote about me and he won't let me hear it without the right instrument. Damned musicians! Don't worry, I didn't spend a shitton of money or anything, it was a good deal and I'll make sure he writes a ton of songs about me, so it gets plenty of use. His true passion is bass, so this is just a "toy" for him. Hopefully he'll give me a file when he records it and I can post it here (hint, hint) That will probably be a post next month though, as his birthday is the 23rd, and I'm making him wait to get it.

My flowers are still looking gorgeous, sitting on my desk to remind me that I think I've finally found a good, decent man, who appreciates what I have to offer. Now don't get me wrong people, I am a total and complete pain in the ass sometimes, I have never tried to hide that, but I also have some really good qualities too! Apparently he's seen those, cuz he sure does seem to like me!

I'll have to admit, I really think that finally getting on some medication has really changed how I view things. I don't get nearly as stressed out or freak out about the little stuff anymore, it's a godsend for me, and I think for anyone that is close to me! I used to be the person that said I could handle it, I didn't need to be on drugs to stabilize my moods, well, I was terribly wrong. It's been a long time since I've had a freak out episode and I'm just as happy about that as anyone who has ever witnessed it!

I am really trying to post every day, I've been doing pretty good, but my posts have been kind of boring, I think once I get my home PC, they will be better, I'll do them from there, where I can really let loose and take some time on them. I'll also start posting pics again.

Ok, heading home as all these storms fried my hard drive on my receiver so I've been forced to have to watch live TV. Let me tell ya, TiVO spoils the hell outta you, it is so hard to watch TV without being able to pause, or even better, 30 minutes after a show starts, so you don't have to sit through commercials. My new receiver should arrive on Friday, so I'll be back to normal by the weekend. Thank GOD!

Georgie & Tulips

So "D" reminded me after I posted yesterday that I forgot to mention one really important thing about this weekend....Georgie LOVES him, like ridiculously loves him, like doesn't even want much to do with me when he's around. She's always been partial to boys, so it doesn't surprise me much, although by Sunday afternoon, I was getting a little bit jealous. She really had no desire to sit with me, follow me around, none of the normal stuff. She wanted to sit right next to, on top of, near "D" the whole time. It's nice, cuz the last one didn't like dogs, hell, I don't think he liked much of anything but himself, so indeed it's a nice change. Georgie is my baby, my child, so it's very important for the significant other to like her and get along with her. For those of you who have met her, that's not necessarily an easy thing. She's a puppy and she's super spazzy, you pretty much have to be a dog person to deal with her.

So we also found out that the wreck is only going to set me back $500.00 which is awesome. I'm so relieved that his deductible was low, you just never know. Luckily I just got my income tax return back and can use that to pay him right away!

So about 3:20 today the receptionist brought me the most beautiful bouquet of tulips. "D" really is a great guy, I wreck his car and he sends me flowers? WOW! I guess I'll keep him around for a while! hehehe

C is for Carwreck

"D" stayed the weekend with me, from Friday until today. Let's do a recap on how this long, extended length of time went with him.

Friday:

He got to the house about 8pm and I was starving, so I think we had a quick kiss before I said let's go eat NOW. Just went to the Chili's in Casa Linda near my house and had some grub. We got back to the house and settled in to watch a movie. Anyone seen Mulholland Drive? Yeah, let's just say that snuggling on the couch turned into much more and we could care less about the movie and trying to figure out David Lynch. We eventually retired to the bedroom for the night.

Saturday:

Got up around 10am and stayed in bed a while. Had to attend a co-workers crawfish boil, so we got ready to go and headed out around noon. The part was fun, but we didn't stay long as "D" had too many "slurricanes" (yes, they put so much alcohol in them, they renamed the hurricane) so we were only there for a couple of hours. Due to him drinking much more than I, I decide that I need to drive his Ford F150 home, as I am sober. We get on the road and such and I get impatient close to the house, as people drive like Grandpa's on a particular street. I go to switch lanes, and unfortunately don't notice a little black sports car approaching on my right. I hit it, I hit it good. Sideswiped the hell outta both cars. Scratches from bumper to bumper on both vehicles. Lovely! Luckily the driver was a cool chic, no one freaked out or anything. We exchanged information and got on our way. I think I apologized to "D" for the next 10 hours or so. He is wonderful, so sweet, didn't seem to be angry or yell at me or anything! So we just chilled at the house for the rest of the day, talking and watching TV. We were supposed to go out with my boss that night, but after the wreck, neither one of us really wanted to get behind the wheel of anything for the rest of the day. We ordered pizza and wings for dinner and did more of the same as Friday night!

Sunday:

Got up around 11am or so and went and ate at a Mexican restaurant near my house. Then had to stop at Home Depot for some flea/insect retardant that I will be spraying my yard with tonight. Georgie had a little flea problem that I cleared up, but I want to do some preventative maintenance just to be safe. Plus, it gets rid of a lot of other bugs like mosquito's, roaches and ants, so I'm all for it! We then went to Central Market as I had a big craving for a steak. "D" loves steak, anything steak, topped with steak, so I knew he'd be game. I got two of the biggest ribeyes ever in the history of ribeyes. We really could have shared one, but we just went for it. We got home and he needed to work on some school compositions, so he sat in the chair while I played Suzie Homemaker and did some laundry, picked up around the house and started preparing our dinner for the evening. It was really nice and comfortable, like that was the way it was supposed to be. No, not me doing all the work while he sat on his ass, it wasn't like that. I WANTED to do all that stuff for him. I know, crazy...
There's a big difference when a guy just sits around and watches TV or plays on the computer while you are cleaning and doing stuff. He was actually WORKING, so it didn't bother me one bit.
It had been a long weekend, so soon after dinner, I was ready for bed. Think we were in bed and asleep by about 10:30pm.

Monday:

Got up this morning and got myself ready for work. Stood in the bathroom and watched "D" sleep, I was so jealous. He doesn't have class anymore, so he got to sleep in and leisurely head back to Denton when he felt like it. I however spent the first few hours of my day taking care of the insurance for the wreck. Guess that's what I get for being a dumbass!

Be the Boy Questions

So over at Be the Boy, he started playing a fun game, and I wanted a little piece of the action. I like these little blog games, they are fun and different. So basically he asks me 5 questions and I answer them. If anyone who reads my blog would like to play, just post in the comments section and I'll send ya some questions, leave your email, so I can get to you.

1. What inspired you to start your blog and what inspires you to continue?

I believe it was my buddy Dave that suggested I start blogging, think he said something along the lines of "you always have something to say, you'd be a great blogger" so I started! I, once upon a time wanted to be a writer, but alas, got into advertising instead. I used to keep journals and such, so I figured this was very much a journal, just online for the world to read!

What inspires me to keep going is that I actually really enjoy it! I took a break after I bought the house last year, and really, really missed it. It really is good therapy, even if some of the freaks on the worldwide web seem to think otherwise. Thank god for comment moderation!

2. Do you have a secret blogger make out wish list, can you name names?

I actually don't. While I quite enjoy making out, I think I'll stick with "D" on that, and make out with him whenever I wish. He's very accommodating that way! I always thought Will was cute, but I wouldn't live in LA if you paid me (OK, I probably would if someone paid me too, I'm a whore for free money) so I knew that was never going to happen. Then he met the love of his life and any hopes to make out with him vanished. While I like robots, I'm not sure if I could have them all over my house anyway. I'm more of a ninja girl.

3. Do you want to know who reads your stuff?

Absolutely! I wish more people would comment (as long as it's not some irate freakazoid) like I know my sister reads it all the time, I know some other friends read it, but they never comment. That's part of the fun of blogging, getting feedback!

4. Has there been anything you have written that you wished you could have back once it was posted?

Well, most of you remember the prejudice blog, and while you'd think I wish I could take it back, I don't. That's part of the beauty of this. It's mine, I can say and write whatever I wish. You don't like it, don't read it. I'm a firm believer in not having regrets, there is nothing you can do to take it back (that is, until time machines are built) so you might as well buck up, learn from it (or not) and move on. Life is too short to worry about the past and what you could have done to change it.

5. He-Man and Skeletor: Secret lovers or just repressed?

I'm gonna go with repressed on this one. They are enemies, and I don't think that enemies generally want to....wait a minute, maybe they are lovers. Well, not lovers, but I bet they'd both stick it to each other if they had the chance. Just to say "HA, I poked you in the butt!" Now that's got me wondering about Skeletor, since the penis is not a bone, he's kinda screwed there (pun intended), looks like He-Man gets the better end of the deal there. So let's go with He-Man is totally gay and Skeletor is just repressed.

"D" is for Done Deal!

Well, things with "D" are moving along at light speed. We are totally and completely into each other. This is it for me folks, I think I've found "the one"! I know, most of you are going "oh lord, what the hell is she doing" and all that stuff. All I can offer, is that you trust me to know what I'm doing.

No, we aren't getting married tomorrow or moving in together, although we have already had those discussions. We are THAT serious about this.

Yes, I know we are still in the ga-ga-goo-goo stages of the relationship, as it's only been a few weeks, but we both also recognize that and are trying to maintain a level head. Some days it's hard, but overall, we both are smart and logical people and aren't going to jump into anything that could potentially destroy what we have.

He has 3 cats, I met them on Monday night when I stayed at his place in Denton. They are terrific, however, I am still allergic, no matter how cute and wonderful they are, they are still something I can't live with. That's going to be a big deal. We need to figure out what the heck can be done about this. I would never in a million years want or expect anyone to get rid of their beloved pets over me. We all know how much I love Georgie, I couldn't imagine having to give her up for a man. I don't think I could.

We've joked about a "cat sanctuary" in the backyard, you know, almost like a child's playhouse, but for the cats to live. That sounds cute and fun and all, but that's not really fair to the cats. Plus Georgie would terrorize them on a daily basis.

He obviously would live with me, as I own, and he rents. Poor guy will have to commute quite a way, but I'm totally worth it! hehehe His lease is up in July, and we talked about him moving then, but that's just way too soon. If his landlord will let him, he is going to ask for a 6 month lease, as I feel after that point, if we are still feeling as strongly, we will shack up at that point!

The biggest test is yet to come, he has yet to meet any of my friends. I have so many different types of friends, this should be interesting. I haven't even taken him to The Landing yet! He will be meeting a shit ton of co-workers this weekend, as there are two parties for us to go to on Saturday. But the biggest one of them all would have to be Jodi. She won't meet him until July, but she's already all over the "D" bandwagon, so I think it should go well. She is the ONLY friend that I have that will be honest and upfront (even though I've asked others to on the last one, you know who you are...) and tell me if he's right or wrong in the beginning. Not this "oh, I knew he was wrong for you" after the fact bullshit. No pressure "D", no pressure at all!
hahahaha

I've tried to not write about him, but it's hard. So if I sicken you all with my talk of "D" you are just going to have to get over it. He's my man, and I'm so happy about it! I had told him when we first met that I didn't NEED a man, I WANTED a man. My tune has changed, I've needed a man in my life all along, I was just too afraid to admit it. We all need that, having a companion and friend and lover is so important. It can be the greatest feeling in the world. I feel like I've won the lottery with "D", he's fantastic and makes me feel absolutely amazing.

Three Bars BBQ

Well, back and alive from Muensterfest! Had a fabulous time! We really kicked it into high gear this year and got all fancy and made t-shirts, a banner and koozies for the event. We looked totally professional (little do they know).

So that's the backside of the RV we rented, it was totally PIMP. Nicest one we've had yet. We borrow the "chef's" brothers RV as well, but that's not enough for the amount of people that stay, next year we are thinking we'll need another, as we felt bad for the people who did not claim a spot early enough and had to sleep outside!

We actually do have a purpose for going to this event, it's the BBQ contest. One of the guys here is quite the chef when it comes to smoking up some good ole Texas BBQ, and man, his ribs are the best ribs I have ever eaten in my life, no joke!

There he is, slaving away at making us some ribs and brisket. The poor guy didn't sleep at all, we got out on Friday afternoon, he finally slept after the competition around midnight on Saturday night. He got 3rd place in ribs, out of 71 entries. I'd say that's pretty fucking awesome! I actually sat down and was a judge for the rib contest. No, we did not have to try 71 kinds of ribs, they broke it down, I got to try 16 different ones. Didn't get his, as I know them well, so it wasn't fixed!


We also created the "White Trash Yard Art" contest, the first annual, and this is what won:



Let me first say that yes, this is a BRAND NEW TOILET. It's not used at all. So what this is, is a Jager Bomb making machine. They bolted it to a pallet, put a motor/pump inside the tank along with a 1/2 gallon bottle of Jager. There is a car battery that gives it power. Inside the toilet bowl is cans of Monster Energy Drink, and of course iced down. The spigot at the top is where the Jager comes out of, just flush the toilet and there's your Jager! Let's just say it got plenty of use!

Here's a picture of most of the main "crew" that was there from Friday to Sunday. This was taken Saturday evening, after we had won the 3rd place prize for ribs! As you can see, we all have on our "matchy matchy" Three Bars BBQ t-shirts!

I only had one mishap, on Friday night, after playing with the toilet contraption too much, I was sitting in a chair, and moved it slightly, apparently my reflexes were NOT cat-like, and I fell over, according to one account, "It was totally slow motion and none of us could get off our asses to help you!" So I have a nice bruise on my left forearm. Looks like I got in a fight and lost terribly. Funny thing is, I didn't even notice it until Saturday evening, standing at the judges tent, waiting on the awards! It's a big one though, about 4 inches long, about 2 inches wide, and today it's a lovely shade of purple and green!

So we went through 70 pounds of brisket, 25 racks of ribs, 6 chickens, god knows how much sausage, plus an assortment of side items. If I told you the amount of alcohol we went through, you'd call the authorities on me! Let's just say it was a good amount!

Lots of fun was had, we drank, we ate, we were merry! I can't wait for next year! Oh, and Three Bars BBQ came from the fact that our company logo has three bars in it...if anyone was wondering!

Muensterfest Begins....

Well, only at the office for a few more minutes, I'm off to the Muensterfest celebration! Ready to get my drink on!

Everyone have a great weekend, I'll have an overview of the weekend craziness on Monday!

Ciao

Indians Invented Chewing Gum!

So I grew up on a farm in far Southern Oregon, Ruch, Oregon to be exact. It's about 30 miles from the California border, closest major city is Medford, Oregon. We raised chickens and pigs. I'll talk about them some more, on some other post. Today we are going to discuss chopping wood for the winter.

So our farm was small, it wasn't how my parent's made a living, it was just a side job for us, to make a little extra money, selling the chickens and pigs to friends and neighbors once the meat was processed. I believe we had about 7 acres of land, at least 4 of those acres being the side of a mountain. We moved out there when I was in 3rd grade, so I was 8 years old.

The first fall we were there, my dad decided that we had no need to buy a cord of wood anymore, we had plenty of trees on our property to cut down! I was 8 mind you, so my help was minimal in this task. My sisters were 15 and 13, so they got stuck with the hard stuff. My oldest sister had a guy friend named Terry, that my dad just loved. You know, he was the guy that your parents WANTED you to be with, but it just wasn't like that for my sister, he was just a good friend. Well, Terry was there too, helping my dad with the wood chopping at hand.

Terry and my dad walked up the side of a mountain a ways, to find a good tree to chop down. Apparently while they were up there, they plotted a little scheme to trick my sister. So Pacific Madrone was a tree my dad liked to use for burning, I guess it burned well, I don't really know. But the interesting thing about these trees is that when freshly cut, the bark will peel off of the tree really easy, almost like you are peeling an orange.

So Dad and Terry are on the mountain side, cutting down a madrone, and chopping it into smaller pieces and rolling these down the hill, to us, three girls at the bottom. I know, REAL safe eh? No one has ever accused my father of being a rocket scientist! So we're dodging and weaving these chunks of wood as they are flying down the hill, and bark is going everywhere, as it peels so darned easy.

Dad and Terry come down after they are done, to help us out, down at the bottom of the hill. This is when my dad goes into his story:

"So, (to oldest sister) you know there used to be Indians all over Oregon back in the day right? Well, they really loved madrone wood, because of all the purposes it served them. They used every part of the tree when they cut it down, even the bark!"

*so me and the middle sister are watching my dad, and can tell he's making this up, we give eachother a knowing look and proceed to join along in the fun*

So the oldest sister is buying this hook line and sinker, and of course asks what all they used the bark for.

"Well, Terry, correct me if I'm wrong, but they used it to make shields, canoe's and even chewing gum, did you know the Indians actually invented chewing gum?"

*I am 8 years old and realize what my dad is doing, he's going to get oldest sister to actually put the fucking bark in her mouth and chew on it!*

Oldest sister looks at middle sister and myself and we give her the "yeah, it's true" look. She bites, literally, she takes a piece of bark and puts it in her mouth.

We all explode into laughter, as we can't hold it back anymore, it's just too funny! Of course she spits it out immediately and is all embarrassed and stuff. The poor oldest sister always got the brunt of the jokes, as she wasn't as quick witted as me and the middle sister back then. We were in Oregon after all, think she bought way too many bags of weed from the hippies!

One of my fondest memories of my childhood, I still laugh about it to this day! There are more of course, I don't just have ONE memory, I'll write about them some more in the future. It's been fun to write this, so expect more!

p.s. the cocaine post yesterday was NOT intended to be funny, or promote it's use, it really was meant to make you realize how STUPID it is, so if I have any readers who are still using this stupid shit, STOP!